Discouragement

I have not posted for quite a while, and have finally decided to share some of my feelings about why. I have been pretty strongly discouragement. I will outline these and POSSIBLY expand on these subsequently.
1) Neuropathy- I feel very little from the waist down. I have "no reflexes." I have pain from time to time when my foot touches other objects and at other random times. I have limited feeling in my hands. All of this is not nearly as discouraging as the fact that I have seen a good neurologist and three specialists from the U of Minnesota. Several MRIs and electromyographies show that my issues are NOT MS, Peripheral Neuropathy, brain related neuropathy, spinal cord neuropathy, etc. Thus it has been labeled idiopathic with no diagnosis and no prognosis. I have difficulty walking and am concerned that my mobility will be further inhibited, but I DON'T KNOW.

2) Quaker blogosphere - It is very disheartening to read that the "Liberal" wing of Friends is "disowning," if not literally at least metaphorically, Christian and "traditionalist" Friends while the Evangelical, or as I tend to think - Fundamentalist-Protestant, wing isgoing further and further from what I consider Friends basics.

3) Friends Meeting - Even though I have attended the current Friends Meeting for over a year on at least a semi-regular basis and have actually risen to share a message on at least half a dozen times, I still am not "approached" by members and on the rare occasion when some one does greet me, I am treated as a complete stranger. I have not been approached by any of the "leaders" of the Meeting to inquire about a rather regular attender.

4) Children and Grandchildren - Because I am not as mobile or energetic as I would like my interaction with my two grandchildren is much less than I would like it to be. We haven't seen our other children or grandchildren since last December, largely because of health and financial issues.

5) Financial issues - We are doing reasonably well right now with being able to meet our obligations such as rent, food, eating out, clothes, etc., but should anything happen to incapacitate either one of us and we would need more care than now, I do not know how we would pay for that. We have about 2 months "reserve" in savings at our current level, but that would probably last only one month at a higher rate. We really don't want to be dependent on our children as my mother was dependent on her children.

etc.